Thursday, August 10, 2017

Why bother

it's been three years or more since I felt the desire to write without objection and yet, here I am again.

i cannot sleep,
knowing a fullish moon will creep her way to my window
and awaken me in three hours or so -

why bother?

last time i delved into feeling,
i found myself exploratory,

undecided - exempt from conclusion

this time it shall be different.

40 days or 39 ways to choose something new.

I will write shitty poems, and terrible blogs,

I will unfurl the emotion and pain and passion of the past 4 years.

I will shake off obligation and reject blind optimism while stepping into the shiny bright joy that I exist to bring.

I will get a silent keyboard, so i can write at night, tucked in bed, naked with chanel no. 5 while he sleeps next to me.

I will understand we need different things - we all need different things.

and my thighs will be his resting place while i find their power to reclaim my mountains,

because I bother, because I know,

I will learn how to love and to climb with abandon again.

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