Thursday, May 19, 2011

Naked with Chanel No 5: Day 27: Quick Review on Bad Girl Behavior

A guide to Bad Girl behavior - On a night when you are all heart broken after you've learned that your ex lover has moved onto someone new or ex husband went on a vacation with another chick or the dude you thought you were dating is out an about with someone else.......follow the following:

Step 1) Call another guy, any guy, even if you don't really like him but generally speaking gives you solid attention. Just call him!

Step 2) Figure out if and how you can get him to take you out for drinks because that will feel a hell of a lot better then how it feels right now.

Step 3) Go into your closet and find the hottest dress you have, pair it with boots or stilettos (depending on the dude's particular taste), shower, curl hair, curl eyelashes, gloss lips, and apply creme brule smelling lotion with a dab of perfume.

Step 3) Enjoy his attention, bask in his flirtation, practice your seductive smile, and maybe drink a little too much.

Step 4) Make out with the dude and grow a little closer to falling for him, even though he knows that there is no future, knows he's a rebound, and won't let himself feel anything, but can tell you are looking for something for the night and is happy to play the role.

Step 5) Wake up. Pretend it didn't matter. Act like you can just be friends until you realize that you got closer than you intended, because well girls are girls, and we attach.

Step 6) Attempt to maintain a friendship. Maybe even make out again once or twice, while secretly hoping he'll fall madly in love with you.

Step 7) Get mad, hurt, sad, when he says he won't.

Step 8) Delete him from your phone after reviewing all flirtatious text messages in which he told you you were gorgeous, amazing, hot etc. He clearly liked you enough to want another round, just not so well as to stick around.

Step 9) Find out a few weeks later he's on vacation with another version of you.

Step 10) Wash, Rinse, Repeat

Probably time to stop this crazy cycle!
Thank god for a better choice - Naked with Chanel No: 5

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