This afternoon I found my way to a pool and free-styled twenty laps. Not much, compared to my normal length of exercise, but a lot compared to what I've done these last few months. As the sinewy fibers of my shoulders connected with my arms, pulled on my spine, and the fluttering of my feet rotated my torso, my thoughts flowed with the pattern of my flip turns, I was wholly connected - one piece.
Today, no less than fifteen times I was asked - "How are you?" a greeting from friends, strangers, to which I always answered cheerfully "I'm great, and you?" because fundamentally, in comparison to some, I am great. But my body aches still battling from the trauma of an accident, my mind hurts after a day's worth of thinking, my heart breaks for all that I have lost, and I am a bit afraid of tomorrow - but likely strong enough to get through it. To some I am great, but all of me is not quite great, all of me that comes in one-piece.
We are compartmentalized into just our ideas, our jobs, our accomplishments, our bodies, our minds, and not often considered whole beings. Last night I watched the burgeouning burlesque dancers carefully don their bedazzled attire, hiding behind perfect masquerade lips and eyes, and it seemed a perfect metaphor for all the pieces we cover up. Yet every one of those women has a whole being, a soul, and her body is the vessel that carries her all together in one-piece.
My body is my mind. It is not just a tangible curving figure to be taken. The two are carefully combined into my being, my soul, my essence, me. I must rest all parts of me, and reflect on not just what some parts need for the moment, but instead all those as they sum into one-piece.
And tomorrow, I will rise achey from my swim and ready for a hike with a friend, but tonight I wrap myself in the safe solitude of alone, Naked with Chanel No 5.