Apr 28, 2009
I did something today that I have been meaning to do for a long time. I stood up for who I am, not who I was sculpted to be. I won't write today in metaphor or ambiguous illusions, instead I'll be straight. I quit my job.
Yes - In this economy and in this world, quitting a source of income is a highly questionable choice indeed. But I realized after nearly 3 years of soul dedication, my process was simply meant to fail. My job you see, for three years, has been to elevate opportunity for others, while taking on extreme risk and responsibility, and pulling across a curtain to protect the wizards behind me. Perhaps I was a docile Dorothy and should have long ago stood up to the curtain, but I didn't. I pretended that we as Wizards of Odds could beat the stats.
It wasn't until my own personal brand, my own personal equity came into question that I realized this was not the board game for me! Someone suddenly called me young, irresponsible, immature, and "not an expert". In truth, it was actually a few clients, some who directly swore at me as if I was their reluctant mover who deserved no respect. I was held responsible for business missteps I could not solve. I realized that I could not blame those clients, but instead my own playing field which was in fact sub par. My own identity was in fact in question! Of course it took a wicked hyperventilating episode that rendered me immobile (which I have not had since a far more tragic event in my life occurred) for me to realize it's time to tap out of this ring.
I had my palm read the other day and she said there was a career change ahead and a haunting J in my past. I knew the J but not the career change. Both are now obvious. More importantly, she said that my life would be long and that my health was only hampered by a darkness I needed to dispense of.
So tap tap - onward, upward, opportunityward. Decisions, mistakes, missteps, victories, and errors shall all be embraced in this new adventure!