Monday, December 27, 2010

Acknowledging the muse


Dec 27, 2010

Acknowledging the muse

It turns out, I have always fallen in love with a muse. At 14, I fell deeply, passionately, and hungrily in love with a boy who made me want to become the performer I'd always admired. It happens, like an echo, in my life and perhaps it's the fate of a tortured artist. Call them catalysts, name them according to their genus, but they are simply muses. I am currently in love with a recent muse that I know very little about. He has inspired me to create, invent, and adventure because I can see his future in this particular fairy tale I am crafting. So I will build this, knowing that such passion will cause inevitable loss, exceptional gain, and gently pain. I will script this fairy tale, and I will hunt that which makes it extraordinary - and at the end, my muse will move to the extraordinary, and I will smile knowing that I will re-create, when once again inspired.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Ouch: A Haiku



Dec 25, 2010
It stings just a bit
this radio silence
yet tis expected

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Not ready yet


Dec 14, 2010
The art of seduction
the power of flirtation
the roles of romance,
are a carefully
choreographed dance.

With self protective similarities
put temporarily aside,
we fall into a passionate stride.
But this won't ever be for more
than simply the now.

So for tonight
for the now,
I will dance with you.
but I won't risk the chance
of caring for more
 than just a few hours.
The peril of falling
is far too great.

So instead for now,
you are my date,
and tomorrow
we'll remember
in hazy dark flashes
tonight.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Manthropology - A study of archetypes


Dec 12, 2010

Perfectly polished nails type out some thoughts on men after a fabulous weekend in Las Vegas. I am no expert, but I do adore them - confusing, compelling, intriguing, and fun. Men are decidedly different than women. Their independence is powerful. I can only hope, as a profoundly proud woman, to someday achieve such independence. Unlike women, men - when they realize they are simply an accessory, can detach. We as women cling, grasp, attempt to create relevance where there is none. A man can rarely be played when it comes to love or lust. Women seemingly always want more.

So my mantra is "Do No Harm" and fortunately it seems my material is sufficiently self protected and not easily harmed. Fantastic! I will conduct my investigation into the better understanding of men with that in mind. I do not intend to fall in love with any of my archetypes and will carefully protect my emotions when learning from them. I will date each type of man, know him, witness his experience with me, and reflect upon the translation as it applies to falling in love.

Guided by my dearest board of directors (my gay friends) I will be reminded of the rules when it comes to men.

1) I cannot change them. (nobody can)
2) I cannot fix things that are innately wrong - in interaction, emotion, connection.
3) Their history defines them as much as mine defines me.
4) Men are simple.
5) So are women.

and lastly

6) We all do secretly want to fall in love when the time comes.

But that time - is not now.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Back - tentatively


Dec 8, 2010

First - I will address the issue of the new forum. Seemingly I can no longer track views, download my own posts, nor collect comments on my blog. All of these things were comforting when composing in a very very open space, albeit nearly incognito. It makes further authoring - intimidating and I cannot help but consider the tree within a forest. If a blogger posts, but cannot track reads - is she making a difference, impacting, or even being read? Does this even make a sound?

Secondly, I will discuss the return to my core study of Manthropology these last few months. Let me say, in practice - it is quite exhausting. The simplicity remains, but in each of the archetypes there is a complex battle of character needs - none are without requirement, and as adorable as they all are - returning home alone early in an evening, before too many cocktails have orchestrated an evening's continuance - is occasionally (if not frequently) essential.

I have returned to the excavation of what makes men and women tick together This time in a less observant and more experiential place. I am hesitant to expound tonight - as my head is full of thoughts, and distracted by ringing phones, pinging texts, and dinging emails - but I am looking into men again - what makes them tick and how we as women might choose to like a certain specimen for more than the hours of 11 -7.