Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Day 9 - Abandoning the little girl (Remembering the mermaid)


Oct 19, 2010

I don't think I'm willing to abandon the mermaid memories and underwater dreams of my childhood. When I was little, I watched, from my yellow encased vehicle, an underwater adventure as the mermaids swam in laps around the lagoon at Disneyland, and I have revisited those memories throughout my life. Floating freely, hair in a surrounding billowing glimmering halo, and the ability to make the littlest kick send ripples that move at the speed of sound.

I am anchored to the depths of the ocean and freed by the quietness of echoing waters. It is another metaphor of the silence I've sought since my ears were shattered by the adamant demands of those around me even as a child. I plunge quickly and swim to the deepest parts looking for meaning - weightless with the tons of water pressing upon my form.

And this search for depth, this search for silence, masked by a bubbling and babbling brook upon the surface is the very balance between the little girl and the woman, only which is which?

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