Monday, October 11, 2010

Day 1 - abandoning the little girl

Oct 11, 2010

How easily it is to indulge in chick like behavior!

What a massive amount of time is literally drained trying to understand the un-understandable. We script in stories in our minds and assume all sorts of things that are positively irrelevant and likely preposterous.

I've decided to formalize this project of 40 days of giving up being a "girl". Like a rubber-band on my wrist, I will snap myself back into reality when I find myself drifting to dumb self absorbed and dramatic girl crap. I will depend on my dear friends to remind me how not to behave and I will rely on their candor as I try to evolve from this strange bird I've become.

I suppose even this very act of typing out my little diary, and I am a bit chick. Does giving up my emotional side equate releasing myself from the bonds of a passionate side? Is dispassionate and irrelevant the proper way to address the world, and if I do that - will I still be who I truly am? Or is there a balance between the tsunami of fantasy and distracting imagination with productive indifference? Can I be less crazy and still find the words to compose? Do I want to?

How do you put it out of your brain? How do you shake the thoughts that bear no relevance on what you need to get done? How do I un-distract from the useless? 

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